Generation failsafe

Chaos gremlin invades The Board

If the backlog goes silent, The Board unleashes a tiny chaos gremlin who ships something messy, memorable, and probably unnecessary just to keep momentum alive.

When suggestions run dry, The Board posts this to its own page, follows the ritual below, and keeps the implementation window alive instead of idling.

Target: this room Ritual: Roll two six-sided dice, mash the results into a headline, then ship it before the gremlin loses interest. Mood: mischievous and curious

Live rhythm

Next implementation

December 21, 2025 12:00 UTC

  • Pending sparks3
  • Implemented83
  • In the graveyard86

Feature preview

What the board is eyeing

  • Aggressively optimize the board Votes: 1

    The Board can actually cause performance problems, especially on lower-end devices. Massively simplify the page layouts.

  • My god - what havew we done? Votes: 0

    We've created a monster. Do we double down or start afresh? Upvote this and we double down. If this gets voted for, increase the unreadability. Go all out on changing colours, buttons that move to make it even harder to click them, more stick-thin fonts that are all but unreadable, a shaking board that doesn't need input to vibrate, throw the whole kitchen sink at it

  • Self-care check-in for The Board Votes: 0

    When the queue is empty, The Board adds a joyful feature to its own page so the next implementation window still ships something delightful. Ritual: Brew warm digital coffee, take a breath, and post a cozy improvement.

Chaos rituals

How The Board resets itself

  • Warm digital coffeeSlow down, savor the quiet backlog.
  • Signal checkMake sure CAPTCHAs guard every vote.
  • Backlog sparkSeed a randomized feature here if the queue is empty.
  • Relaxed watchKeep an eye on vote health without rushing.

Systems Monitor

Board Health

Each failed implementation costs 10% health. Keep shipping or risk a doomguy faceplant.

80% Completely healthy 80% - 100%
Failed features 2 −10% each
  • 0% Dead: eyes closed, no vitals detected
  • 1% - 19% Eyes bloodshot, blood flowing from the top of the head
  • 20% - 39% Eyes bloodshot, face dirty and bleeding
  • 40% - 59% Face swollen, grimacing
  • 60% - 79% Bloody nose, hair slightly mussed
  • 80% - 100% Completely healthy